


The Great Halloween Debate

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [125]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A better idea involving giving out vegetables on Halloween, A good idea involving orange ferrets, Adam is an angel, Cas has a better idea, Crack, Drunk Sex, Gabriel has a hissy fit, Halloween, I mean they do live in a haunted bunker, Lucifer has a good idea, M/M, Michael gets played, Michael has a hissy fit right back at him, Michael is the Door Captain, Multi, There is one dude in a furry suit, Too bad no one shows up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 02:09:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2411078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel and Michael are having a calm, rational debate about what to give out to the tiny humans on Halloween. Well, Gabriel is having a hissy fit, and Michael is trying his best not to have a hissy fit right back at him and there is very little that is calm and rational about two archangels having hissy fits of cosmic proportions, but it is a debate - albeit a debate that involves copious amounts of shouting and numerous objects hurled across the room at the speed of sound, but a debate nevertheless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Great Halloween Debate

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a comment-conversation with Savain, who gave me this plot bu- ferret.

Gabriel and Michael are having a calm, rational debate about what to give out to the tiny humans on Halloween. Well, Gabriel is having a hissy fit, and Michael is trying his best not to have a hissy fit right back at him and there is very little that is calm and rational about two archangels having hissy fits of cosmic proportions, but it is a debate - albeit a debate that involves copious amounts of shouting and numerous objects hurled across the room at the speed of sound, but a debate nevertheless.

 

“Mika, you _can’t_ expect me to give up _my_ candy so you can give it out to those little _brats!_ ”

 

“For the last time, Gabriel, I wouldn’t be giving out _your_ candy! I’d make new candy, and you would still have your stash.”

 

Gabriel’s lip starts to quiver and Michael knows that he’s all but lost. “All the candy in this house is _mine,_ new or old,” Gabriel declares, voice shaking just a little.

 

“I’ll make you twice as much candy as I make the humans, Gabriel!” He offers, desperate not to see his brother cry but equally desperate not to lose.

 

Gabriel starts to sob and Michael’s heart shatters.

 

“No, Gabe... Baby angel... Don’t cry, please. I’ll make you all the candy you could possibly eat, and we won’t give any away, okay?” Michael gently wraps Gabriel in his arms and starts to rock him back and forth.

 

“P-promise?” Gabriel asks, looking up at Michael through teary, red-rimmed eyes.

 

“I give you my word,” Michael swears.

 

Gabriel grins and his tears disappear in a flash. “Love you, Mikey,” he shouts as he twists away and starts sprinting down the hallway.

 

Michael sits down with a sigh. “I just got played, didn’t I?” He asks, turning to Lucifer, who had watched the proceedings in rapt fascination and mild horror.

 

“I have a better idea than candy,” Lucifer says with a too wide smile. “They’re fun to play with, great for kids, and very festive as well.” When Michael perks up, intrigued, he shoves a bowlful of squirmy, chitterling, bright orange ferrets at his brother.

 

Michael gives him a skeptical look. “Have you asked our humans about whether or not ferrets are an appropriate Halloween treat?”

 

Lucifer smirks. “I did.”

 

“And?”

 

“And what? Sammy had his ‘Lucifer, you’re in thiiiiiiiis much trouble’ face on, so I just listened to some K-pop in my head while he was talking. Anyway, do you remember how the tiny humans said ‘trick or treat’ in all of the documentaries we watched? That must mean that they’d be happy with either a trick _or_ a treat. Imagine their surprise when they receive a squirmy ball of adorable mischief instead.”

 

Michael considers Lucifer’s logic for a moment before nodding. “That makes a lot of sense, brother.”

 

***

 

“You wanted to do _what?_ ” Sam and Adam ask in unison.

 

“Give out ferrets on Halloween?” Michael tries, shrinking away from his mate’s wrath. “It was Lulu’s idea!”

 

Adam shakes his head. “Luce, you should know better than that. You always drag your poor, innocent brother into these sorts of things.”

 

Lucifer starts to pout. “But, look!” He holds out the bowl of ferrets for all to see. “They’re so cute!”

 

Dean elbows Castiel in the ribs. “Remember when you used to be a silly little angel like them? You were all new and so adorably clueless.” He sighs. “They’re so cute when they’re that ag- Yeah, okay, not going there.”

 

“I believe there is an obvious solution to my brothers’ problems,” Cas responds.

 

“Oh, and what’s that?”

 

“We should give out vegetables on Halloween. I’m particularly fond of Brussels sprouts. They’re delicious _and_ nutritious.”

 

Dean groans. “Cas, we can’t give out Brussels sprouts to kids on Halloween. That’s... That’s just _wrong._ ”

 

“Does anyone have a better solution?” Cas asks, glaring at each of his brothers in turn.

 

After a while, Michael speaks up. “I think I have an idea.”

 

***

 

In the end, they all settle on Michael’s idea of giving out goody bags filled with toys and crayons and miniature coloring books. Michael is the self-appointed ‘Door Captain’ and Adam is in charge of consoling Michael when two a.m. rolls around and only one elderly man in a furry custom had shown up all night. After that, Adam puts Dean and Cas in charge of making increasingly spicy apple cider to loosen Michael up, and Gabriel puts Sam and Lucifer in charge of feeding him candy with the assurance that it’ll loosen _him_ up in an entirely different sense.

 

The next morning, Dean wakes up topless (but not pants-less, so that’s a relief) on top of his car. There’s a very naked Michael sleeping beside him and Dean takes a moment to appreciate that before gently shoving him awake for daring to drool on his baby. A closer inspection of his car reveals Lucifer, Cas, and Sam waking up in various states of undress in the backseat and a very sticky Gabriel dozing under the vehicle.

 

The old man from last night waves at them from down the street, and Dean grimaces and waves back. “This isn’t what it looks like,” he calls out, shrugging his shoulders a little.

 

Adam strolls out of the bunker, fully dressed, no less, and looking quite a bit more well-rested than anyone else, and hands him a steaming mug of coffee.

 

Dean considers the cup for a moment and decides that his little brother is an angel. “Bless you, Adam.”


End file.
